Missed Connection on the Red Line
© Digital Vision/Darrin Klimek

Carpe Diem: Seize the Moment . . . or Not

Our eyes met several times today on the A train. You have blond hair and were wearing a black jacket. When you got off at 5th, you looked at me through the window and smiled. Would love to see you again.

I never do this but . . . we saw each other on the Red Line today. You’re tall (like me) and have the bluest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. It was hard to stop sneaking a peek at you. You got off at Market Street. Figured it’d be worth a shot to post this.

You were at the Springsteen concert last night (Row S) sitting next to me. The girl you were with started out next to me, but then you switched seats (thank you). If you see this and would like to chat, reply back and we can go from there.

In this fast-paced world of devices, headphones, and anonymity, human interactions are sometimes elusive.

The elusiveness of human interaction
© Brand X Pictures

Although we bury ourselves in our smartphones and work routines, most of us do have an innate desire for connection. And, if we’re single, we may be actively searching.

Dating sites and matchmaking services have solid audiences—with tales of success, frustration, and failure. But another path is gaining momentum.

Missed Connections

Missed Connections are the moments when spontaneous smiles, magnetic eye contact, or shared experiences trigger an attraction . . . but the players in the drama don’t complete the connection. Shyness. Intervening events. Bad timing. Whatever the cause, the story is left unfinished.

A magnetic moment
© Purestock

Then, the lament—the what if’s and coulda/woulda/shoulda’s—and the freedom of imagination to create romantic dreams, the kind that fuel film scripts with happy endings.

Now, these lost moments can be “advertised” so that a next chapter becomes a possibility.

It all began when Craigslist launched its “Missed Connections” section where people could post their story and have a second chance at getting to know that mysterious stranger.

The idea has spread to newspapers, magazines, and online forums. It’s a booming business and also one of those sources of entertainment where hours (or days) can be lost before you know it.

Public transit is a popular place for “missed connections.”
© Getty Images/Jupiterimages

Psychology Today has even analyzed the patterns of missed connections. Californians seem to miss their connections at the gym. In the northeast and south, Walmarts, supermarkets, and public transit are rife with near misses.

And, oddly, in Indiana, missed connections happen mostly “at home.” (Turns out this isn’t a judgment on family life, but rather a tribute to the pizza delivery person, the appliance repairman, or the neighbor.)

Will the connection be missed or the moment seized?
© Stockbyte

A Venue for Dreamers . . . and Writers

While the success rate of star-crossed strangers’ meeting again is low, Missed Connections forums have become a place of dreams and, as it turns out, also a springboard for budding fiction writers and poets.

Yes, emerging writers can still submit to the New Yorker, Ploughshares, and Paris Review, in the hope of getting attention. But they can also post on Missed Connections to test the waters.

The stories expand the boundaries of truth. Plot lines twist and turn, and characters come alive. Readers can get a taste of Harlequin romance and action thrillers for free.

We were sitting together waiting for the bus, but not really waiting (come to think of it). Actually, we just had decided to sit down somewhere and this bench was catching the mid-afternoon sunlight nicely. I looked at you and said “I don’t see myself ever breaking up with you.” You smiled.

—Quote from Redeye Chicago Missed Connections

We chatted briefly while I waited for the teller to fill my bag with money. You waved goodbye with a big smile while I ran out to a waiting car. I wanted to get your name but did not have the time. You . . . tall . . . great face . . . nice hands (I noticed when you raised them) . . . cute smile. Me, a little nervous, wearing a mask, toting a gun and a bag full of money. If you see this, and I hope you will, tell me what bank I was robbing (so I know it is you).
P.S. No FBI or local police.

—Quote from Craigslist Missed Connections

Your image is forever etched on my soul/It’s like I knew you before that moment/But it’s too late now/You got off at Lake/You looked back at me and smiled/like you felt it all too/but both of us too shy to make a move/Now you’re lost to me/The memory is all that remains.

—Quote from Redeye Chicago Missed Connections

Wistful or hopeful about second chances?
© Wavebreak Media/Thinkstock

Life Lessons

Missed Connections can be wistful or hopeful. The posts can wax poetic or be downright pornographic (an unfortunate recent trend). Underlying emotions can channel regret or offer the optimism of a second chance.

Aside from pure entertainment and good reading as new talent in the fiction genre emerges, Missed Connections do offer a life lesson.

Carpe Diem
© Getty Images/Jupiterimages

Oh, I see. It may be better to seize the moment and make the connection when the opportunity is within reach rather than leaving the next chapter to fate.

Carpe Diem. What have you got to lose? 

For more immersion in Missed Connections, read the recently posted Craigslist short story—being touted as the ultimate missed connection and see Sophie Blackall’s unique illustrations of missed connections.

Quotes VIA Craigslist and Redeye Chicago.

Comment on this post below or share your story of a missed connection—fact or fiction. Inspire insight with your own OIC Moment here.